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Dead Ends

by ajk

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1.
attempting to create something great from dead space can be like trying to put your fist through a wall of bricks, separating the words from your lips don't know what to say... stumbling in the dark catch a spark hurryhurry find your part and ride it out listen to the wind whispering eyes on your opening slowly make your way through the shades of gray shed your self restraint and fill some color in bring it to life with taste with loft and grace give it a name give it a face then set it off
2.
without the winter woven in, the summer would not feel the same to feel the warmth inside my skin, i must experience the rain and if it doesn't take, i'll try, try, and try again until time stands still i'm sending my love on down the river down to the distillery for a chance at greener pastures i sit and watch it float away not an easy thing to do i tell myself i must be brave, even as it tears my heart right in two and if it doesn't take, i'll try, try, and try again until time stands still i'm sending my love on down the river down to the distillery for a chance at greener pastures i poured in all the age and youth, the tears and truth accrued through years of paving roads on earth and soul, and then i watched it grow i'm sending my love on down the river down to the distiller for a chance at being bigger than itself
3.
i was ready for the end of the world i could've sworn i saw it through an open window, heard it knocking at the door but when it came, i didn't know what to think just sat and stared at nothing for awhile, waiting for me feet to find the floor mind inundated with injured thoughts life addlepated, it could fall apart i feel checkmated, but the other shoe has yet to drop and it's coming down it's coming down all around me and now i'm feeling it hard but i won't succumb to the dark i'm at my best when i'm caught in a crisis the world around me melts away leaving me free to be in the moment now just gotta reach in and grab my thoughts from the cyclone seek the broken pieces and take a moment to be, then sort all of 'em out life inundated with injured thoughts mind addlepated, it could fall apart i feel checkmated, but the other show has yet to drop it's coming down all around me and now i'm feeling it hard but i won't succumb to the dark i don't need sympathy i need a good vibe symphony i need unbroken harmony i need some rest from this distress, yes, yes i don't need sympathy i need a good vibe symphony i need to know you're right there behind me it's coming down all around me and now i'm feeling it hard... but i won't succumb to the dark
4.
Sad Songs 04:37
all this time spent being, and i never got it down i've beaten all around these bushes, trying everything short of growing up and now i'm feeling the repercussions this soft melancholy sound is reverberating through my insides i'm searching for something soothing to drown it out but there's nothing around that i can hear no guiding light towards which to steer i'm tired of writing sad songs moreover of writing them from the heart i would say i wish this my last sad song, but i know that's reaching a little bit far broken down and defeated it's like no one shares my mind brothers will fight and growth takes time, but that does not make it any easier to swallow tomorrow will bring fresh pressures that we must shoulder as they grow heavier i'm tired of writing sad songs moreover of writing them from the heart i would say i wish this my last sad song, but i know that's reaching a little bit far i suffer in my gut, no tears my pain can stay at arm's length for years i'm tired of writing sad songs moreover of writing them from the heart i would say i wish this my last sad song, but i know that's reaching a little bit far
5.
so many dead ends begin as promising as any road but as away they wend curtains fall on what came before i don't know who to trust anymore i'm little use as a soldier in another fool's brigade, and i'd make a terrible slave many many men have fallen from far greater heights than this over lesser things and i keep telling myself that i've got what it takes because that's the only way i don't know how, but i know i can't let anybody down
6.
Murphy 02:49
only when you're already at your capacity will people reach out and offer you more just as the camel's back starts to bow, the postman arrives with a bushel of straw at your door there's nothing for you in your hometown it's like being lost in a way if only you could slow down and get your bearings straight... sometimes the grass it grows too green browner pastures can break a family apart sometimes you may long for sights unseen even thought you know exactly what it is that you've got life is full of heaters and curves they don't just give you a ball on a tee (it's not so easy) you've only one mission: to learn how to grapple with chaos and win when one sun rises another one somewhere else sets but to get what you give, that is something that you cannot expect there's nothing for you in your hometown it's like being lost in a way if only you could slow down and get your bearings straight...
7.
he's a solitary soldier in a trial balloon army breaking his back just to keep the faith he can't drive his blues away... and if you take a step back, it's no wonder that it does not feel the same the same as yesterday === i never could muster the strength to say all the things that i wanted to but then again, on that other hand, perhaps it was strength that kept it all in it seemed like the right thing to do try to listen through another man's shoes and speak from the noose yeah, i'm a natural leader, but that's the same thing as saying i ain't no good at playing with other kids my age i've never been the staunchest believer, but i know i won't do this all on my own it's funny how, when you put a little distance between yourself and your love, you can find clarity yet there's always such resistance...it's like sailing into the wind and then the things you got to do don't jive with those you want to and it's your path to choose yeah, i'm a natural leader, but that's the same thing as saying i ain't no good at playing with other kids my age i've never been the staunchest believer, but i know i won't do this all on my own
8.
it's all starting to blend, this din, and all i hear are broken chords the will to mend is in me, but my hands are cold i don't know who to trust anymore it's little use i'm out here on my own and i don't remember what i used to say what i used to do to make it all go away and i don't think i'll ever find that place again i may well have reached another dead end

about

This is an album about the arc of a relationship that ultimately ends, colored by the grief that comes with that loss.

credits

released June 26, 2011

All sounds produced by Adam Kaufman with the following exceptions:
Mo Murillo: bass on Good Vibe Symphony
Jarrett Clayman: dumbek on Dead Ends (part I), vocals on Dead Ends (parts I and II)
Artwork by Amy Kaufman

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about

ajk Boston, Massachusetts

Adam Kaufman is a singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist/producer working out of his home in the Boston area. He records his music in what time he can get, and plays out around Boston as often as he can. Though he comes from a pop/rock/grunge background, his writing tastes vary. He is a strong believer in the album, and works hard at his craft. ... more

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